bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
