i barfeds in our rink
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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