you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
