I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
