there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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