did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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