I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
