So drunk, too bad you don't want this
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
