i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
