you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
