Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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