We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Success! We fucked roommates!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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