Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
