This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
