And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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