after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
