stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
