i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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