Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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