just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
