He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
