It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
