I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
