The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
