Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Randomize
