she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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