I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
