do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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