We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
