I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize