I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
