if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
