she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
