I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
