between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
