I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize