I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
