My balls are so social today.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
