yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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