im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
