Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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