There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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