3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
