they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
