he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
