shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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