Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
