Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
