At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
