just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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