Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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