You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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