She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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