You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
