I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
