I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
