Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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