Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
