Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
