I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
