oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
