Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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