32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
