This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Randomize
