Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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