i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
