i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
