Do you still have your period?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
